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LILLEY WRITES..




Ay up.

Memum said to say ‘hiya’ but not my sophisticated style. I’m sure you’ll agree Ay Up covers all geographical options.

So, on to the main theme.

Are we smaller-in-stature furries taken seriously? I say this because only yesterday, whilst on my walk (and it is ‘my’ walk remember. Memum may well be on the other end of that piece of strap but I decide where we go. And I’ll tell you why…)

‘Get on with it!’

Yes, yes…as I say … I decide the walk. I point in the desired direction and Memum follows. Normally, at that point, I like to do my rabbit jump coupled with a short woof of approval.

Big dogs. Off leads on my walks. I don’t mind but I am little. Please respect my small but perfect frame. Especially if you’re invading my space. One shove from a big, black Labrador and one is winded. I may be brave and mighty but I can’t cope with bruises. Respect. Said my piece, thank you.

Now then, Memum has no idea of what I plan. My English is mine to mangle. I only went to a clot-head school of doggies.

She’s had enough. I’m worried. For me and her. I’ve only got a little body to worry with, but tummy can stretch.

When she is down I feel I should synthesise so I try to look as miserable as my hairy face allows. Trouble is, I have a permanently, pantie face so my pink tongue always pokes out and I look daft. Beyond my capabilities to appear intelligent. There, I said it…

See, I think Memum misses her mum and dad. Maybe someone else from her 'former' life?

You don't think she misses my prodelesser the Chihoho called Gelly? What? Gilly, is it? Help me! What if it's that? She's always mooning over Gelly's photo. Gilly, yes. Stop me from over heating. I can't breathe now. What if…is it or not? I will not calm down. Is it Gelly? Gilly…is it?

Ok. I've medicated and now I'm calm. I do think she misses people from her past. I do and it's because some of the people in her present times are not nice. They've not been nice since, well, a long whiles. To be clear, that is some, not all. I know I'm precioudicked but Memum is a good soles. No body is as perfect as me, we all know that, but she is good at soles and if I could, I would tell her to tell them to go ****

Ouch! No need for a swipe round the bum, you cheeky swine you. Who are you anyway? God? I don't think so…ha ha ha! YOU ask for foxgloveness….

Sorry, am I actually awake, here? I am awake…

Memum misses people who properly did love and care for her. I may be a titchy dog but I'm the hero here, because I love Memum with all of my bony being. She, but we, need good, decent caring whatsits in our lives. Yes, I would be jellies but it's not about me.

Look, all I can do is show her how much I love her. So what I plan for this afternoon is to do zoomies round the pond four times, fall in it (makes her laugh, at least I think that's what she does), agree to stand in the bath whilst turning the bath green (I bet that'll make her giggle eh?), shake myself all over the kitchen floor, go roll on the lawn whilst she chases me (not sure what she's yelling at that point but I reckon it'll be nefarious (?), and snore loudly under the hairydrier.

Who wouldn't be cheesed up at that?

After that I will snuggle up to Memum on the settay and kick my back legs. Makes her laugh.

She doesn't know how much I wish for someone good to show up. Not another flake. Fluke? Rake? You decide…I know she's most definitely not looking for a wussband. Or anything else like that. Once a person said the wussband word and I think, and I say think, the answer was - 'God no'. Yes, sure that was it.

We're all looking for love out and love in. That's about right. The Hokey Cokey in other words. A bit of Hokey Cokey, Lilley's way, please.

To be honest, it would be rather lovely to have a little playmate for myself.

Have I ever mentioned Bramble the Border Tesla? Grrrr….he's a bit of hopscotch.

Keep those dreams coming….I am (see above).

Delicate, pink pantie kisses from me…sorry...should that read 'panty'?




I am seriously peesed off now. Want to go to bed. Tired. Bramble has another woofan. I saw him out walking.


Help me!!


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