Living Without Children
The Room Called Childlessness has many doors: Not just the ones marked ‘didn’t want’ or ‘couldn’t have'
I knew nothing of AWOC (Ageing without Children) until the ephemeral lockdown turned up. I had to shield and discovered a whole new world of aloneness. Just me and Lilley, my dog. It was blissful, for a while, then as Christmas approached it wasn't. Talk was all of families not being able to meet, grandparents stood weeping at front doors. No talk of me and others like me.
As a person living without children I’m accepting of my aloneness.
And hear this..
…as a childless and ageing person I'm accepting of my aloneness or familial lack…But I want the world to hear and know about us.
Let us shine a light on our situations, whatever they may, be it as a result of being someone that doesn't have children. Being childless and ageing (and ageing without children means anyone over 40 plus) is a societal fact that could well turn into a problem if society doesn't address and accept the numbers and data of those of us who are ageing without children.
My name is Patricia Faulks
My home is in Lincolnshire and has been for almost 50 years. However, I was born and brought up in the city of Leicester and am an only child. My mother had no siblings and my father's siblings are deceased. My parents and grandparents died some time ago. I am alone.
I was married at 21 and we decided we would try for a family after a year of marriage. In the meantime, my parents suggested we all (including my gran) sell our respective houses, and buy an hotel in Cornwall. We hated our jobs so we jumped at the chance - Cornwall. In the end it finished up being Skegness.
So, Charnwood Hotel, Skeggie, for several successful years, then we sold it, but all stayed in area of Lincolnshire. We discovered we liked it.
In the meantime it appeared I was having problems conceiving. Long story short, many tests later, we were turfed out of a major hospital on a 'can't do anything for you' basis, and left to deal with this loss. It was devastating as anyone knows who has been through it. Nothing was offered, only adoption. We tried that and were turned down. It appeared the social person took something of a dislike to us.
Thing is, in those days it was expected that you have kids. We suffered some dreadful comments which I won't repeat, here. Eventually, I realised, it was a closed subject. Don't talk about it and don't ask about it. But - it's nothing to be ashamed of is it?
Anyway, we split up (the childlessness most definitely contributed), divorced, met our next respective partners. I joined a corporate estate agency, did pretty well and decided I could start up my own agency. Which I did and ran Greystones in Skegness and area, for some years. I sold it to a corporate and have regretted that move, ever since - silly me. I miss it. I did OK from it, however. (I love work, don't you? Just because you're old does not mean you must trawl the coffee morning route - not that there's anything wrong with coffee mornings but - just saying).
My partner died after some years together, and I now live in a lovely property in a Lincolnshire market town.
I am an AWOC but, hells bells, I'm lucky. I know that because I'm told it on a regular basis.
So what's up?