LILLEY SPEAKS

On Lilley's magic seat here. It really is magical sometimes. We look out over the river with all the different birdlife, wildlife, the sheep grazing in the fields. We've been known to fall asleep on it.

THE WISDOM OF ONEDOM

Hello to my dear fans

Well, it was one day...

To my fans - you may be small in number (bit like meself) but perfectly formed.

Memum's shoved me out front and told me to say whatever I want as long as I don't bark rude words.

D'you know memum at this very moment as we or I doth speak is shovelling me out the way so she can twit. I say if I could twit I'd be telling all you twits to …

"Shut it Lilley. Either get on with your speaks or move out the way and let me get on with mine".

Did you hear that?

"Telling you".

Alright then, here I go again. Do you know who sang that? The Lollies…

"Hollies you idiot".

We'd fallen asleep on my magic seat. Who took the photo? Who?

Lilley moves into her corner of the kitchen. She has the 'ump and needs a minute or two.

I could run off, I could straight. But I won't. For everyone out there I'm now going to speak.

Memum's disappeared down to library - again. The money she spends paying for the overdone books she could have bought 'em. I heard the woman behind the desk say that. He he!

She's every so worried and I don't know what to do. We have funny things happen and I get scared. I'm only a little topsy tot so I'm not a lot of use in a fight. By gum I'll give it me best shot tho'.

See, before I was on the scene, I had a predess, a preds - oh, I don't know what you call it. Another doggies called Gilly and James. I've seen the photos. (Lilley sniffs) Pretty but not very pretty - like some of us are - see? Oh, alright then - they were, Very pretty. Grief….anyway, they both did die in unnice ways. I'm untelling as memum says not to but thing is this - something is afoot. And she's worried.

It's me should be the bothered one I reckon. If them's bad'uns out there then it'll be me wot cops it.

See listen up. When you got no one like Memum and lots of yous, some peoples think they can billy you - sorry - bully.

You got to be with the guards. Not all peoples are nice, like wot I am. Memum and meself are on our own. We’re vullible -- vunnel, vulnerable.

So take care of yerselves. Look after your memums and mepa’s. I really try to look out for memum. I know memum, and I know she’s a good’un. Won’t be everybody’s mug of coffee but hey up.

My peace and love for New Year is memum’s wish an' all.

“No s**t Sherlock”

And she's back.

Yous can all laugh but when we no childrens.

“We?”

When we no child’s we gather in-trest.

Lookey here - peoples pick on yous childless and lonesomes if they have a mind. Which they don’t. Please don’t go along with ‘em.

“No don’t do that”.

Laff if you must. I know stuff.

“Lilley It's New Year. Keep it light. What is it? Everything is 'see through Lilley'. You’re like a little Trojan horse. A secret interceptor eh?”

I might be. No idea to be honest. I’m just a cheeky chutchie. Aren’t I?

I loves you all. So much. Look out for yerselves and yermums, yerpapas, an’ that. Most of us - yous- are booties. And you go have yerselves the greatest New Year ever. So bootiful we’ll only know lightness and brightness - won’t we?

That’s me - Lilley speakin’. Not on magic seat. An even bigger, better one.

Lilley in her kitchen, actually. After her haircut. Loving showing it off.

Back to me, thank you....

It’s the peoples’ seat. Just some seat. Yours and mine seat to confligate (ay up) and say pieces of right wistom. Oh I say it meself…that wer a blitzer that.

Howzat memums?

“Job’s a good’un our kid. Come on - let’s go. Good girlie, off you trot. If anyone needs translations of the above please don't write in as I've no more of a clue than you. Ask Lilley.

We'll see you all soon. Love to everyone and have yourselves a very wonderful New Year. Oh, wait a minute - madame wants another word. Go on then…"

Our favourite walk. It's certainly one of Lilley's. She loves the puddles, the running, the social doggy nose bumping. Woodhall Spa, a famous spa town nearby if you're interested.

Me again...

Thank you fluffy peoples. Me and memum are proper on our owns this year and we're alright. We're alright. To any of you out there who's on yer own it doesn't mean no one cares, yer knows? We care, we proper care. You are in me hearts. I don't arf wishes I could meet you all, I do straight. One day eh? That's all. I just wanted a silly Lilley message but I do means it.

"Lilley!"

Yes ma…coming.

"Did you finish your piece about your nature walks and your riverside friends?"

Whoops!

This is me magic seat!

Happy New Year to all me luvverly fans I loves you all.

Our favourite River Bain walk near the market town of Horncastle, Lincolnshire. The colours were beautiful that afternoon.

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One more thing: no one calls memum Pat or Pat Curtis 'cos she's not. I want you all to know that. It might be important. I tell you what - the second instalment of this might be well intrestin'.