And so that was Christmas. For it came to pass …
…the seat where Lilley experienced her magical, mystery tour, was tempting us back.
Lilley's magic seat will remain just that.
So, when we strolled along the footpath today, I felt we should sit awhile on said seat. Maybe I might experience an enlightened illustration of life's meaning. My place in this universe. Like what Lilley did…
It was getting dusk as we sat there. A few folk passed by with their dogs. Some stood and engaged in conversation. It was rather uplifiting, if I'm honest and it got me thinking. Without Lil to drag me out, would I be sitting at home, possibly for days, without conversation or human contact?
All these things I ruminated on whilst lurking on Lilley's seat. And eventually the C word must announce itself.
That pesky Christmas word, again.
I promised myself this year, that I wouldn't dread it. I would not get upset when the endless blather about families and kids reached overdrive. I would not reminisce of Christmas' past.
But I did and I do. Solitary Christmas comes as a shock I can tell you. No way am I used to it but I’m beginning to think I’d better get used to it.
Is it not sad that a time of the year I once adored and looked forward to is now reduced to absolute dread and, frankly, sometimes fear. Fear of the panic at my very acute awareness of my non avoidant solitude. I don't especially want to be alone at Christmas. On the other hand, I don't mind. My mind minds, if that makes any sense at all. My mind continually bleating the 'should' word in my ear. The hectoring voice in my head saying - ;'you shouldn't be alone at Christmas. Go and sit at someone else's table'. But I don't want to. I've done that so many times and folk have been incredibly kind. But I only really want my close family or partner at my Christmas table - sorry.
Listen, I'm OK with it. Just sad that I'm OK with it. Shouldn't be? Whoops, I said it again...
However, I am not lucky to have no family and end up an occasional, lonely old biddy. It is not how I envisaged it would be. And before anybody starts I do not want to join a group/club/gardening or otherwise - been there, done it, T-shirt, video - not for a Trishy/Trashy such as I. They are amazing those clubs and groups with some amazing group members. Simply not my thing. Leave it…
Anyway - back to the seat - we simply sat. People couldn’t pass without stopping to chat. I love that. There is clearly something about a dog and (I believe) an older woman who’s reasonably personable, unavoidable as a twosome. Sitting very still and quiet. Receptive. A pair giving out vibes. ‘Just us. Here for a chat. Do come - talk - we’ll respond. You’ll like us’.
Same thing occurred with my last dog as it happens. Gilly the chihuahua. We were in the Yorkshire Dales staying in a gourmet pub in Leyburn looking at purchasing a property. We sat eating our dinner in the main bar and were never left alone. Folk just came and sat at our table to chat. I loved it.
So, I thought as I sat on Lilley’s seat, should we - you know - just go and hang around? On a seat somewhere? Just sit, wait and they will come. I think we might. You can find us sitting on a seat near you. Coming soon…
Am I going mad? Cos that would be crazy. Wouldn’t it?
But, on the other hand, If you see us - sitting on a seat- will you come and say hello, please? We promise to engage in conversation.
As it says on all the posters and the tele: It's good to talk.
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