top of page


A visit for Lilley to LucaVet, Market Rasen, Lincolnshire meant we got chance to view beautiful St Thomas' Church, Market Rasen.

Living alone, particularly when ageing, childless, can leave a person vulnerable. Those looking to target someone for devious means.

Goodness - 'language Timothy' (anyone remember that comedy series with dear Ronnie Corbett in the title role?) I don't mean to worry or concern folk because, as a rule, there's absolutely no need to be worried.

What I'm talking about is a targeted, specific, covert crime. A hidden, unknown crime. Meant for people like - oh, I don't know - me. Me, people like me.

I can assure you I am perfectly sane and sound. 'Course I know what I'm talking about. I've been living this life for the past 'too tight to mention' years.

I was always going to get round to speaking my truth. In a way, it's the reason I started my blog. This piece probably won't be read, seen, or exist for long. But, let's give it a go shall we?

It's always seemed strange to me how I've managed to be completely on my own for the past 12 plus years. At one time I was a social flibbertygibbet. When I moved to North Norfolk for a stint after my late partner died, I wasn't looking for anyone else, let's just put that out there. But I, and most friends at the time, gave it as a given I would have someone else within a couple of months. Well, a decade plus has passed by and not a sniffle. To be clear, I'm not a whiffle bothered. I'm just saying - past experience has most definitely suggested a few chat ups along the way. Zilch. Guess I'm not meant to - right? Ok, let's go with that..

Taking the shade at the beautiful Nature Reserve that is Red Hill, Stenigot, Lincolnshire. We will be back to visit that one, for sure.

So, anyone heard of targeting - as in - a person? Do you think it's possible that some of us, ageing and alone with no family, could be vulnerable? Should we be informing local police (stop laughing at the back) we are living in the vicinity without familial support?

And when I said targeting I meant a vulnerable person (like me, for example) being targeted for underground criminality. Should we be made aware of potential targeting? Made aware by police, that is. You know, how they send out their 'warnings' on your local Neighbourhood Watch or NextDoor sites? Let's not get ignored again by authorities.

I realise this may not be what readers expect but you know me - unpredictable and annoying as hell.

Now then, bear in mind I am talking about me and me alone. But what I will say is please do this if anyone you know or suspect is either taking part or is the target of said crime - speak up. Tell someone, the police as a rule. It could take the form of 'neighbourhood watch' keeping an eye on the 'suspicious person'. Like the vigilante fools that some of them are. Sometiimes these idiots are fed lies to keep them busy vigilanteing. Don't be part of that gang whatever you do. Neighourhood Watch, when it's working properly, is a force for good. Vigilantism is not.

As an aloner, an awoc, a childless person of 73 I am vulnerable there's no two ways about it. Vulnerable to all sorts of things but potential targeting for a hashed up vendetta, therefore criminal gangs, is possible. (I guess it would depend who you've had in your life - winks ironically). In mine I've come to the conclusion anything's always possible. Which is why I'm saying be thankful you're not me.

In my little goldfish bowl of much earlier years (population around 50,000 taking surrounding villages into account) I was high profile believe it or not. In a good way, in a good way. Because of my business, social life, endlessly in the local rags for PR reasons (no internet in those days) sometimes when my partner and I went out it was like mini Beckhams. I didn't like that part, if I'm being honest, but it was well meant.


At the time all I really wanted was a quiet life.

Intercept moment: you know that thing when you get what you wish for? Then you wish to God you hadn't?

Our sombre, serious look (and indeed - outfit) for the next bits...

Back in the room and - have I ever really achieved a quiet life? Well, yes…my life is quiet nowadays and yet…

It appears I have a tendency to attract 'strange people' to my aura. Sorry,'tis true and there we are. You DO know what I mean. I know you do. See, that could well be because I'm an elder and on my own. Those who, quite often others manage to avoid, I manage to get.

When I moved into, indeed bought my current property the neighbours were delightful. Along one fence were trees, shrubs, climbing plants, giving colour and privacy. Along other boundary were two healthy hedges including a conifer planted entirely by my predessor and entirely in my garden therefore entirely mine. The other was a lovely privet of the same height (just over two metres which is not against any law before anyone starts). The privet was a shared hedge so share it we did regarding maintenance. And thus we had a very good sound barrier and neighbourly peace.

Unfortunately, for health reasons, both neighbours on both sides eventually left. And in came the 'others'. Make of that description what you will.

First thing to go was the fence- plants and trees. Ripped up by a JCB and dumped into a skip. Leaving a bare fence whereby privacy was minimal.

Second thing was the hedges on the other side. As this could well be into the legal system by now I can't say too much except this - what is it about 'in somebody's garden, planted by said person therefore means it's their property' do you not understand? Savagely chopping down shared hedges without both parties agreeing is also illegal.

I now live in a garden that has no privacy. Mind you neither does anyone else.

Who said 'police'? I've had a chat with a police spokesperson and it's all about solid proof with them. He meant videoing the crime. I said I've photographed the hedge. Apparently it needs him next door in full colour close up. He does it when I'm out, I said. (He does). Oh, get the gist. Basically, you give up which is the general idea and plan.

Contemplating outside Market Rasen Church, again. We like it there - at Market Rasen. We like it - don't we Lil?

As perfect neighbours go I fit the bill. Never had a cross word with a neighbour in all my/our many years and many houses. The opposite, in fact.

It's strange to suddenly find myself next door to such unpleasantness because that is how it's developed. Why?

'Morse' stuff, isn't it? (Remember the late John Thaw in the role of the Oxford detective?)

It appears targeting has become a 'thing'.

But, do you know, we folk, we awocs, we childless, have focus and morals it seems to me. Not to suggest that others don't - of course they do - but oft times they are distracted and driven by the family. We remain steadfast and guided by facts and reality.

Time to gather?

We either care about the future without the family carry- on, or we drift and then we die.

Lilley contemplating, no doubt. Doggy stuff like - it ain't arf hot Mum!

We have a voice. Targeting someone on their own because they can is criminal. It seems particularly criminal and cowardly when a victim is an elder, female and alone.

Realising the words U3A and other worthy groups may well be slung around at this stage but is that my only option? I HAVE to join? Only way to get support round 'ere luv. Wrong…

I go back to communities. I go back to informing authorities i.e. the police, social services. As a childless, ageing person you shouldn't be feeling vulnerable in your communities or homes because you are alone. With no familial support. I do. But I assume it to be unique to me, at present?

How to approach it? Well, through my AwocLincs Facebook page, and Facebook page, I have built up some connections - tenuous or otherwise, connections - therefore a toe in the door.

So, email I will to said authorities. Inform them of our vulnerable status (some of us) and, as talk is all of communities, how would said authority suggest going forward with this conversational theme?

We have a voice. We are not alone. We have each other.

Those of us that can - speak up.

Let them know we are here and we don't like being ignored as some of us are potentially vulnerable people.

We have a voice. It's our biggest asset.

Contemplating at Furze Hills, Snipe Dales Nature Reserve, Hagworthingham, Lincolnshire. Magical place. Definitely many navel gazing places at Furze Hills.



bottom of page